Tuesday, January 1, 2008

There Is No Script That Divides The Watermelon

I Bought This

I Didn't Buy This

I can't get enough of the Japanese shopping malls and the two items above are good examples of why I've spent the last few days combing through every shop I find in the hopes of finding the unexpected. Above are two products here which apparently solve pressing SL problems. I'd not thought of dividing a watermelon as something one would need to do in Second Life, much less doing it while wearing a blindfold and using a sword, but for 5L I had to buy it. Wasn't there a comedian who used to smash watermelons? A sword certainly seems more stylish but alas, the disclaimer informs me that an actual division of the watermelon is impossible. Still, "there is no script that divides the watermelon" seems to be a perfect response to unwanted questions in these troubled times, fraught as it is with a certain mystery. I see the scenario going something like this: Telemarketer: "Miss Lane, are you responsible for making the long distance calling decisions in your household?" My reply: "There is no script that divides the watermelon!" Can't you just hear the glorious silence on the other end as that response is turned over and over in the telemarketer's head?

On the other hand, the "God of Wind" is obviously an empowerment tool to make one feel better about one of life's little embarrassments. When someone asks, "What's that smell?" You can say "I am the God of Wind!" How dramatic! Much better than the playground taunt "whoever smelt it dealt it". I should add that the picture above shows the "God of Wind Deluxe" for 50L. One can purchase the "God of Wind" for 35L, but you don't get the lovely shit pile. I mean, isn't that worth 15L? The creator of this product slaved over that perfect coil, so please consider purchasing the Deluxe model. I'm not sure about the "contents are emitted by the command" note though. I mean, if we can emit contents by command why can't we divide a watermelon by script?



ChastityDeCuir said...

When I need a smile, I always know just where to go. Someone should contact Ron Popiel, he can slice and dice, Gallagher only smashes. George Bush is a blowhard who is full of.., oh forget it.

Annyka Bekkers said...

But you didnt say WHERE we could buy God of Wind!

Vidal Tripsa said...

Gods, this cracks me up. Just... argh. Brilliant! XD

Anonymous said...

That's hysterical. I will definitely use it when I get my next, do you decide the printing needs of your company call.